3: things that I hate that everyone else seems to love, vol. 1

1. BACON. My hatred for bacon is equal in strength and immensity to the internet’s love for it. There is no definable source for my hatred — I’ve never had a traumatic encounter with a piece of bacon, it’s not tied to any painful person or event in my life — it’s just pure visceral dislike. Even thinking about the smell of frying bacon makes me feel queasy. While I don’t consciously like pigs any more than all of the other animals whose meat I’ll eat, there is photographic evidence that suggests I’ve got some sort of long-lasting affinity with them: my dad keeps a photo of child-sized me cradling a baby piglet in my arms and cooing at it with a look of maternal delight while my younger brother, gripping his piglet like a football, looks on in bemusement. Maybe it’s just that I’ve got ancient love for both Babe and Charlotte’s Web. But if it’s a culturally learned affection, why aren’t there more people who share my distaste? Why aren’t people unconsciously reminded of dear Wilbur whenever the bacon starts sizzling? Recently I’ve been taking an informal poll, asking everyone I speak to whether or not they like bacon. The question initiates immediate rapture: their postures straighten, their eyes focus keenly in the distance, probably imagining platterfuls of crispy bacon, and they launch into highly descriptive odes. Not a single person yet has expressed dislike or even indifference. I’m really starting to think that I am the only non-Jewish, non-vegetarian person in the world who does not LOVE bacon.

2. Lolcats. Want to guarantee that I will click quickly away from your blog and never return? Post a lolcat. The language of lolcats sets my hackles rising and my eyes rolling. I tend towards knee-jerk dislike of anything that I perceive as too popular, and maybe that’s at play here because I’m sure I have chuckled at at least one lolcat, but I can’t remember ever disliking a meme as much as I do this one. And I like cats.

This list would be longer but I feel a pressing urge to quit the internet and go read William Hazlitt’s “On the Pleasure of Hating” right now.


~ by Not Alice on November 3, 2007.

One Response to “3: things that I hate that everyone else seems to love, vol. 1”

  1. Hmm…

    William Hazlitt = I can haz literature?

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