practical uses for shakespeare

I’m auditing Shakespeare this semester because I would be the biggest failure of an english major if I graduated without having studied more than just Hamlet and The Tempest. I love my Riverside Shakespeare book, but god is it heavy and unwieldy! I’ve had bruises on my hips since the beginning of the semester just from carrying it.

Today, however, while trying to solve the problem of how to drive my injured car the few blocks to a body shop, Shakespeare proved quite practically useful. My hood is accordion-crunched from the accident I had on Tuesday,* and because I am on the short side of average it strained my whiplashed neck** terribly to see above it. Dear Will rose to the occasion — or rather, helped me rise to the occasion — by serving as my booster seat and giving me an extra six inches of vantage.

I’m also pretty sure that this book could kill, or at least incapacitate, an attacker. Which would be sort of awesome.

*My fault — I hit someone — very very stupid of me and devastatingly difficult to deal with, but not really bad — I would call it a fender-bender but it was actually more of a hood-cruncher. The only seriously injured party was my car.
**Self-diagnosed at this point. I’m going to a doctor soon, but haven’t been able to scrounge up the courage or the time to get there yet.

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~ by Not Alice on October 5, 2007.

One Response to “practical uses for shakespeare”

  1. I’ve got a couple of monster Shakespeare books – the Globe Illustrated and the Arden anthology. Either of which can be used as very good booster seats.

    I hope you’re not whiplashed. Go see a doctor SOON because, if you are, the sooner you start fixing it, the better.

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