after undergoing multiple blood tests

Three Diseases That I Do Not Have
–Hemophilia
–Leukemia
–Von Willebrand Disease

And one not-really-disease-but-issue that I do: anemia — and not just anemia, but acute anemia, which makes me much more problematic than everyone else who presents with it. I have “if your hematocrit were any lower we’d be giving you blood transfusions” anemia. “Sit still and let us take pints more of your blood so we can make sure that these crazy numbers aren’t a fluke” anemia.

At least there’s a solution to it, but the doctor and I both wish that we knew if there were an underlying cause. I asked my doctor what I should do next and she smiled. “Seek a consultation with Dr. House, maybe?” This made me laugh; the next part did not. “Actually just take massive doses of iron twice a day — guaranteed to do horrific things to your mysteriously precarious digestive system. Also, stop eating aspirin like your life depends on it. Because it doesn’t. And quit smoking. And for god’s sake if you have another massive nosebleed go to the emergency room immediately you stupid, stubborn girl!”

(Actually, she didn’t say any of the bit in the last quoted section, at least not in so many words. I made it up. I sort of wish that she had said just that — someone probably should.)

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~ by Not Alice on July 25, 2007.

3 Responses to “after undergoing multiple blood tests”

  1. I had the same kind of tests that happened when I was anemic…was tense…

  2. Uh, Honey? YOU just said it. So stop smoking, quit the aspirin, and start eating more spinach. Seriously…

  3. If you use molasses as a sweetener you’ll get a lot of iron that way.
    I use cast iron skillets, too!
    (Fussy sent me.)

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