10 Things

10 Things You May Not Have Known About Me (Even if You Are the One Real Life Friend Who Sometimes Reads This [hi!!])

  1. My favourite dinosaur is the diplodocus.
  2. I pretend to be only facetiously superstitious, but actually I am honestly, seriously superstitious. I look for omens and signs everywhere, and am always trying to divine my future based on random occurrences.
  3. I have always felt cheated that I am not clairvoyant (I have the sort of name that should guarantee it).
  4. I have a painfully acute sense of smell, but ever since this spring, when I was stricken with a bizarre inner ear infection, my hearing has taken a steep downwards plunge.
  5. The idea of marrying a dentist sort of appeals to me.
  6. I used to keep and obsessively update a notebook of names, first and last, as a reference for writing. Bookstore clerks were always more than a little alarmed to see my barely-teenaged self buying the baby name books I amassed to aid me in the collection.
  7. I enjoy petty theft, and I’m a pretty accomplished shoplifter of small objects, but I’m too afraid of getting caught to do it very often.
  8. When I was thirteen or so I went through a phase where I would only write with green pens. I owned over 20 pens, each one a slightly different shade of green.
  9. I have often wistfully considered incorporating slang from other decades and centuries into my vocabulary, but I never actually do it because I’m a little afraid of sounding dorky.
  10. I never once made it to Oregon, or even California for that matter, while playing Oregon Trail as a child. This might be indicative of some sort of genetic deficiency in pre-planning and strategy, and might foretell complete failure at accomplishing various adult tasks like, oh, FINDING AN APARTMENT.

So, yeah, an apartment? Terrifying. I am completely freaked out by the prospect of finding a place in Oakland or Berkeley sometime in the next month and a half, to the point where I would seriously give up the plan and resign myself to another semester in the dorms if I were doing this alone, but I was going to be living with two of my friends and I don’t want to flake out on them. Theoretically it should be less terrifying not to do it alone, should somehow be easier a task to accomplish with other people, but the three of us are notoriously incapable of getting anything done when trying to work together; we tend to bring out and amplify each others’ anxious streaks until we are reduced to a wibbling mess of collective nerviness. I love ’em dearly, and I do think they are among the only people I know who I could live in harmony with, but I have no idea how we’ll manage to find a place to live when I am in Wyoming and A is in Egypt. Egypt! Do you have any idea how difficult it is to get in touch with an already-reclusive person when she is in Egypt, doesn’t have a phone of her own, and is not staying in a house with internet access? Only E is still in California, but not, unfortunately, the bay area.

 I am sort of resigning myself to the possibility of spending a few months being homeless and destitute. I can stake out a spot right in front of Moe’s bookstore on Telegraph Avenue. The bookstore people are my friends! Maybe they’d let me sleep in there at night in exchange for reshelving and organizing! If not, I do have a small handful of homeless buddies. They have always seemed quite fond of me, and not just because I always give them money; there is at least one guy who genuinly likes me — I bet he’d show me the ropes and share his cigarettes with me until I got the hang of charming UC Berkeley students into giving me quarters and smokes. Being young and waifish to begin with, I imagine I would be quite a successful homeless girl in another universe where such a thing would not result in rape and dismemberment.


~ by Not Alice on July 12, 2007.

One Response to “10 Things”

  1. “I imagine I would be quite a successful homeless girl in another universe where such a thing would not result in rape and dismemberment.”

    Um, yeah – let’s remember that this how how that life functions in THIS universe, shall we?

    I don’t have a favorite dinosaur…

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